What is An Exceptional Life?
An Exceptional Life is not simply a great life or a happy life, it’s a life filled with exceptions. It’s about having and doing the things that other people say can’t be had or done. It’s about working fewer hours, having the job and relationship of your dreams, and being the person you say you want to be all the time. It’s about being the person no one asks “How are you doing?” because you’ll spend the next ten minutes telling them how great your life is. It’s about having it all by creating points of view that differ from your default viewpoint.
Does this involve crystals, magnets, or brainwave training?
I have a hard time with anything new age, energy-based, or with hippy overtones. So my coaching doesn’t involve any of that. People have areas of life where they have limited themselves with a point of view that doesn’t support them. I simply help them see that and alter those viewpoints.
And to be clear, I have zero problem with people using new age or energy-based techniques to get their personal development. I used to judge other coaches and their clients that used crystals or brainwave training but the key I missed was that many of them got power and fulfillment from those techniques. And if that does it for them, great! Most everything that we say is real is made up anyway, so all I care about is that people have a viewpoint that lights them up in life.
For me it often boils down simply to: Be great with people and they’ll be great with you and you’ll have a happy life. If you’re a jerk with people they won’t be great with you and the world will seem pretty crappy.
Does that mean you just tell people what they want to hear?
Not very often. Certainly not as often as many of them would like. I train people to tell the difference between reality and their point of view. When people get really clear on the difference then they can alter their point of view which is where the anger, frustration, upset, etc. come from. I help people shift their view just a few degrees and that shift gives them a whole new world.
Do you tell people what they should do?
Again, not as often as they would like. I occasionally give advice or tips and tricks, but the vast majority of the time I actively refuse to tell a person what they should do. It’s presumptuous. They have known themselves their entire life, I’ve known them a few months or less. I make sure they are clear they have thousands of options and have them pick one that is true to who they are. Then I hold them accountable for that.
How did you start coaching?
Let’s Get Started
Kim - Bride
Judith Manriquez - Coach, ICF
The other major take away I have from the time I spent with Matt is the recognition of my impact on the world around me. It’s quite easy to think you are an island but none of us are, and our actions impact those around us whether we notice or not. When I began to practice noticing this, I was shocked in good ways and bad. I realize how important it is to be responsible for the things I do and when I have not, to acknowledge it. For this, my relationships at work and at home are better, and the people in my life feel I do truly care about them, and that makes me feel incredible.
It was a gift to be able to work with Matt. I feel very grateful to both him and my employer for offering such support and being committed to having people be better for having had them in their life, that is truly exceptional.
Jennifer Gasaway - Front Desk
But then things changed. My assigned Coach withdrew and a new Coach appointed – a guy named Matt Stephans. Matt was no overnight success with me (mainly because I was coming from a looooooong way back) but he showed fantastic patience and genuine understanding for the task at hand.
Matt has a thorough knowledge of the coaching process and proved to be intuitive, reliable, incisive, trustworthy, inspiring and a brilliant communicator. He loves what he does and he brought out the best in me. I am the better for having known Matt and the day will come when I will again seek his wise counsel. It is my pleasure to recommend Matt Stephans to anyone seeking a great coach.
Ross Barnett - Sydney, Australia
Kjetil Bråttvik - Stockholm, Sweden
Didier Jean-Francois - Owner, Studio Swing 88
K. Tryce - Team Lead
David Fried - Owner, DKF Writing Services
I. Kazim - NYC